In an edit to my last journal, I said how my mom has taken away my computer. Yes well, I have it back, but only for a couple of hours, and I'm being supervised, I'm forced to sit at the kitchen table.

GOD the world sucks right now. All I want to do is sit down and cry until I can't cry anymore, but I can't even do THAT! FUCK!

I don't even know how to express how ticked I am. How frustrated, overwhelmed, sad, annoyed, tired, stressed, angry...

my life is bad enough right now, but then my mom had to go and take away my one comfort becausee she thinks she understands what my problem is. Which, I might add, she doesn't. And quite frankly, I don't want her to. She's going to tell me how to try to live my life.

I love my mom, I love my dad, I love my brother, but I honestly feel like I'm being suffocated here. I can't even cry. GOD I want to cry. You have no idea...

I want to live my life how I want to live it. It's my life, and it's MY computer, that I payed for with MY money, she has no right to take it away from. I'm sure she thinks she's doing this for my own good, but she isn't, because quite frankly this perhaps the only that that's keeping me above hurting myself. I've tried my books, I've tried my music. Nothing works, I can feel my depression slipping deeper, and here's the nice part. It isn't going to go away. I know my own mind, and my own heart. It isn't going to go away.

Relax, I'm not suicidal. I'm just sick and tired of this. Of everything right now. I want to live without this constant agony, and now, I have to. All the time. I'm so tired of thinking, because thinking only makes it worse. Anyway, I have to go, my mother's back.