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About Me Member Fantasy Writer Sakura-NamidaFemale/United States Recent Activity Deviant for 1 Year
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M.U.S.I.C.

M U S I C

The breath of life.

Newest

I feel like I'm being suffocated.

Thu Nov 19, 2009, 5:28 PM
In an edit to my last journal, I said how my mom has taken away my computer. Yes well, I have it back, but only for a couple of hours, and I'm being supervised, I'm forced to sit at the kitchen table.

GOD the world sucks right now. All I want to do is sit down and cry until I can't cry anymore, but I can't even do THAT! FUCK!

I don't even know how to express how ticked I am. How frustrated, overwhelmed, sad, annoyed, tired, stressed, angry...

my life is bad enough right now, but then my mom had to go and take away my one comfort becausee she thinks she understands what my problem is. Which, I might add, she doesn't. And quite frankly, I don't want her to. She's going to tell me how to try to live my life.

I love my mom, I love my dad, I love my brother, but I honestly feel like I'm being suffocated here. I can't even cry. GOD I want to cry. You have no idea...

I want to live my life how I want to live it. It's my life, and it's MY computer, that I payed for with MY money, she has no right to take it away from. I'm sure she thinks she's doing this for my own good, but she isn't, because quite frankly this perhaps the only that that's keeping me above hurting myself. I've tried my books, I've tried my music. Nothing works, I can feel my depression slipping deeper, and here's the nice part. It isn't going to go away. I know my own mind, and my own heart. It isn't going to go away.

Relax, I'm not suicidal. I'm just sick and tired of this. Of everything right now. I want to live without this constant agony, and now, I have to. All the time. I'm so tired of thinking, because thinking only makes it worse. Anyway, I have to go, my mother's back.

  • Mood: Tearful
  • Listening to: T.A.T.U.
  • Reading: rereading Gemma Doyle trilogy, waiting for DLC
  • Watching: Hanasakeru Seishounen, Bleach, Yi-San
  • Playing: FFVI Advance, Brain Age (XD)
  • Eating: food is pointless.
  • Drinking: water.

Devious Info

  • Current Residence: somewhere I love and hate.
  • Interests: music, reading, writing, anime,
  • Favourite movie: hmm...
  • Favourite band or musician: Cascada, Rin', Phil Collins,
  • Favourite genre of music: oldies, rock, classic rock, techno, ...anything except rap
  • Favourite artist: Hayao Miyazaki
  • Favourite poet or writer: Jane Austen, J.K. Rowling, Libba Bray, Christopher Paolini...etc. etc.
  • Favourite style of art: traditional painting, sketching, photography
  • Operating System: Windows vista
  • MP3 player of choice: Ipod.
  • Wallpaper of choice: YunaxTidus ( I <3 FF X and X-2) Haji,
  • Skin of choice: my own?!
  • Favourite game: Final Fantasy X, X-2
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2, GBA,
  • Favourite cartoon character: Haji (blood +), Gaara,(Naruto), Mustang (FMA)
  • Personal Quote: live life to the fullest, regret nothing.
  • Tools of the Trade: A mechanical pencil and a piece of college line paper. (or a piece of virtual microsoft paper.)

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Comments


:iconreader-meg:
Thanks for the fave!

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DFTBA
:iconsetsunakou:
Thanks for adding my SHadi x Ishizu portrait to your :+fav: list!!

Doumo arigatou!

God bless!!

Setsuna :music:

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"And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying; neither shall there be any more pain, for the former things are passed away."
Revelation 21:4

~cordafanclub
:iconkunarikun:
I tagged you! [link]

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:heart:
..-. . .- .-. .-.. . ... ...
:iconbloodychildish:
Thank you for :+fav:! :hug:

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I'll take my horse and we'll go in NEVERLAND. <3
:iconsakura-namida:
your welcome! It was truly beautiful! I just love blue roses. Can I ask how you took the picture? I'm an amatuer (heavy on the amatuer) photographer (who isn't very good) and I'd love to know how you did it.

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The past is gone and there is no such thing as the future. The only thing that is truly real is this moment. The here and now. This is all we've got, so let's not waste it.

Live. Love. Laugh. Learn.
:iconbloodychildish:
Well..The original rose is pink.
His new color [blue] is given by two programs.
First: Photoshop.
Second: Photobrush.
And after that I added some contrast and a few saturation level.:)
And of course the BW background.

I think that's all.:D

Thank you again! :hug:

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I'll take my horse and we'll go in NEVERLAND. <3
:iconsakura-namida:
no, thank you.

--
The past is gone and there is no such thing as the future. The only thing that is truly real is this moment. The here and now. This is all we've got, so let's not waste it.

Live. Love. Laugh. Learn.
:iconbloodychildish:
For nothin'. :hug:

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I'll take my horse and we'll go in NEVERLAND. <3


[Error...error...your mind is nude...error...]
:iconbear-girl:
Thanks for the :+fav

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We don't answer stupid questions. We ask them. >:3
Don't make fun of me for being an alliumphobic.
:iconbear-girl:
Gah! You like awesome stuff! :D

--
We don't answer stupid questions. We ask them. >:3
Don't make fun of me for being an alliumphobic.

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